I am a mother now. There's this pretty, such a pretty little thing sleeping on the bouncer next to me. He is so calm and relaxed and has no idea how he changed universe around him already.
I just now realised I need to keep writing about this before it will all become just a fight with next nappy, remembering the boob I fed from last time.
I need to remember the first night I spent with him on the ward. This milk high face. Everything.
The birth, too- long, 48 hours worth labor. The most amazing partner. The most wonderful midwife. I fell in love with this woman- every time I think of her now I cry. The guitar earing in her right ear and her calm face. All the details.
He was born on Thursday morning and I already have some skills I thought I will never have. And I invent new things like putting wet wipes in my bra so they get really warm before use. Unconsciously making both tea ( two tea bags...) and coffee in the morning- to drink one first and have second ready to microwave anytime. I feel calm and good and I feel I know what I'm doing( most of the time). I feel strong. Wow, I was so afraid. And I really feel like I was made for all this.
(Note to self: make time every day to write about him and your feelings. So important for when he will be bigger and things will get harder to remember all this. Also- carry him more! Even more.)
Welcome to the world, Jan. Such a perfect life- you.